The hurting.

the new Kanye West album is excellent. every song is a gem, it's awesome. one of his best songs, "Coldest Winter" is sampled from the Tears For Fears song "Memories Fade". the song is great, and the lyrics are sooo sad, i love them of course. finally, a song that understands my plight.

There's only need
I love your need
So much I'm losing me
I cannot see the reason for the pain
With hungry joy
I'll be your toy
Just hoping you will play
Without hope my body starts to fail

Memories fade but the scars still linger
Goodbye my friend
Will I ever love again
Memories fade but the scars still linger

I cannot grow
I cannot move
I cannot feel my age
The vice like grip of tension holds me fast
Engulfed by you
What can I do
When history's my cage
Look foward to a future in the past

The more I talk
The more I say
The less you seem to hear
I'm speechless in a most peculiar way
Your mind is weak
Your need is great
And nothing is too dear
For you to use to take the pain away
Memories fade
No don't pretend you can justify the end
Memories fade but the scars still linger

Well I'm afraid of changing...

"Because here's something else that's weird but true: in the day-to day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship -- be it JC or Allah, bet it YHWH or the Wiccan Mother Goddess, or the Four Noble Truths, or some inviolable set of ethical principles -- is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough. It's the truth. Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you. On one level, we all know this stuff already. It's been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, epigrams, parables; the skeleton of every great story. The whole trick is keeping the truth up front in daily consciousness."

-David Foster Wallace

Another Christmas present.

i so never got this show while it was on. it's sad that it will never be back on because the actors are too big now. it hurts my heart...i will always miss you Freaks and Geeks.

Poor kitties.

it's not an everyday thing to have 3 sick cats in the house...

Harry, ear mites and infested bite wounds.

Sally, self-inflicted scratches due to bothersome flea bites.

and Woo, who likes the L.A. Times and is refusing to eat.

oh and Sissy has been missing for over a week now. i'm hoping she's not sick somewhere.

Weird Fishes/Arpeggi.

"Everybody leaves
If they get the chance
And this is my chance..."

Death of an Olympus Camedia C-60 ZOOM.

last night at the party i was in the middle of a semi-heated philosophical discussion with my cousin when all of a sudden my camera freed itself from my hands and boom crash bip! fell to the ground. being on the drunk side, i didn't give it much thought, except for, "it can handle it." but i overestimated how strong my old camera is. the lens keeps struggling to make it's way back inside it's body, i can hear it whining every so often. it's dying, and i can't help but feel bad for it, because i was emotionally cheating on it this last week, since my mind has been fixated on obtaining the Sony Cyber Shot DSC T-700. now i just have to remember the good times we've shared...it's been a fine camera for the last 3 years. however, this couldn't have happened at a worse time, because i'm disgustingly poooor and a new camera is not necessarily what i need...although i do love taking pictures. how can i not want this camera, it's perfect for me!! it's freaking pink!

the screen is huge, i looove it!